


Little things

by Laroinda



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Chenle is overthinking, Drabble I think?, I'm Sorry, I've written it after midnight so dont expect too much, JaemleRise2018, M/M, They are dumb, again I'm sorry, kinda angst? idk, like really dumb, no beta read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 09:37:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16156421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laroinda/pseuds/Laroinda
Summary: Basically, Chenle overthinks a lot about Jaemin.





	Little things

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry guys, I hope it actually works? I'm not sure tbh

Chenle seems to always notice all of these small things about Jaemin. How he scrunches his nose slightly while laughing, how focused he is while practicing or working on something on his computer. Chenle never misses those things, he treasure them the most. But there's one big thing that really bothers Chenle. The affection that Jaemin gives to everyone but him.

Everytime Jaemin dotes on Renjun, is all over Jeno, Chenle feels something small breaking in him. At first, it didn't affect him at all, Jaemin was always like that with Renjun and Jeno. But after some time, Chenle noticed other small things like those little touches he gives Mark, playful fights with Donghyuck that everytime ends with a big hug. How everytime he is with Jisung and Jaemin comes to them, he always shows his affection and love towards Jisung. But he never does that to him.

After seeing all of those actions of his fellow members, this little thing that were always slightly breaking in his heart, started aching more and more till he was unable to bear with it. He craved the affection from his hyung, even little touch of their hands would make his heart skip a beat. He was that deprived of love from the hyung he loved the most. 

Sure, he is showered with love by all of his other hyungs. From the day one, they always tried their best to make him feel loved, feel like his at home. He loves all of them, loves how they care about him. But the thought of the distance between him and Jaemin never leaves his mind. 

He tried to avoid thinking about him, to seek the affection he craved that much from the other members. He started cuddling with Renjun more, hugging Jisung and Jeno. But it wasn't it, he knew that it wasn't what he needed. He needed Jaemin. 

Thoughts about the other boy invades Chenle’s mind on a daily basis. When he's eating, sleeping, even on practices. The rest of the dreamies noticed how off he was. When Chenle was laying on his bed, Renjun came to his room looking really concerned. 

“Lele, you know that I'm here for you?” After hearing those words, Chenle broke down. He couldn't contain all of those tears, the constant feeling of Jaemin not loving him was breaking his heart for months. So Renjun just laid in his bed, took him in his warm embrace and waited for Chenle to calm down. They were laying like that for good 15 minutes until Chenle stopped sobbing. “Are you feeling like telling me what's wrong? We noticed that you were really off lately.”

“It’s, it's just that I’m stressed lately. Don’t worry too much hyung” Chenle almost broke to tears once again at the little thought of Jaemin. 

“We both know that it's not what was on your mind lately. I've seen you stressed a lot before, that's not how you bear with that.” Chenle knew really well that Renjun is right, when he's stressed he relieves it by playing games or watching movies, not by moping around. “Is it about Jaemin?” That very moment, Chenle broke down again. It hurts him even more when he knows that other members noticed, but not Jaemin. And even if he did, he didn’t do anything about this. It only made Chenle feel even worse. 

“How did you even notice?” Chenle asked through sobs.

“We just noticed that you've been avoiding him lately. I mean, you weren't really close and that really concerns me.” It only reminded Chenle of how much Jaemin does not care about him. 

“It's just, just how can I be happy when I see him showering everyone with love, like everyday. It hurts because i know that he won't ever be like that with me.” Chenle was almost calmed down, but talking about his feelings wasn't helping. He was still sobbing a little while talking.

“What makes you think like that?”

“Didn't you notice? How he never shows any kind of affection towards me? We don't even really talk, that hurts so much when I see him being all affectionate with other members.” Chenle was close to breaking down again, so Renjun started telling him sweet little things, like how can anyone not love you? That he's sure that Nana has other ways of showing his love towards Chenle. He didn't believe a single word that Renjun said. Even though, he calmed down and they both went to sleep cuddling. 

When Chenle woke up in the morning, he heard Renjun and Jaemin were having an argument. An argument about him. He just wanted to disappear, so he won't break the relations between other members just because of his stupid love for his hyung. 

He exited his room to get ready for a day. Another day of constant dying inside. 

“Chenle we need to talk.” Jaemin's voice startled him. He began to sweat nervously at the thought of the confrontation with his beloved hyung. He preferred things staying like they are rather than completely destroying his relationship with his hyung.

“I, I need to go, I need to prepare for practice.” He stuttered, feeling his anxiety creeping inside him. 

“We have practice in evening, Chenle please it's important.” Jaemin looked really determined about talking to Chenle. After his inner debate the younger one decided to talk to the reason of all of his tears.

“Okay, but let's go somewhere more private.” Chenle hesitantly answered. They came to Jaemin’s room and sat on his bed.

“Do you really feel like I don't love you?” Jaemin asked, his voice really small and quiet. Chenle's heart was beating so fast, that he felt like he was running for few hours.

“Yeah, it's just, you always seem to dote on other members. You always seek their touch and attention. You cuddle them on a daily basis, shower them in love. But you never do that to me. This shit hurts Jaemin.” Chenle answered feeling his eyes watering. He knew he couldn't break down in front of his hyung, he would freak out. Then Jaemin slowly put Chenle's hands in his.

“I'm so sorry Lele, you always seemed to be so happy and cheerful when others were with you that i thought that you just don't really need me. I never thought that I could bring you the happiness that other give you. I'm so sorry that I made you cry, uncomfortable or anything bad at all. Just, just remember that i love, I always did and I will forever.” 

These words were enough for Chenle to feel better. His beloved hyung does, in fact, love him. With tears of joy in his eyes he hugged Jaemin as tight as he could. They stayed like that for good few minutes before they decided to lay down on bed. After a while Chenle felt like he's dozing off.

“Nana?” Chenle quietly asked. 

“Something’s wrong Lele?” Jaemin asked concerned. 

“I love you hyung.” Chenle said in small, sleepy voice. Jaemin couldn't keep big grin from forming on his face.

“I love you too Lele.”


End file.
